Tale Of The Creepy Eye! (As Told By An Intrepid Reader)

Howdy, friends! 



 In the recovery room with Little Minion Dear Son. I'm still loopy here from happy juice and let me just say:  Conscious sedation is ahh-maaazing! So much more pleasant to  'come to'  from than general anesthesia, that's for sure.



I'm back-- sort of-- I'm twelve days post-op and my vision is way wacky (one blurry eye and one clear eye) so looking at anything is weird but looking at a computer screen makes me feel especially nutty and slightly queasy. 

 Thankfully, big minion Dear Hub fixed me up with a pair of safety glasses in which he occluded the blurry eye side with black construction paper. Does the trick even though blogging with one eye is a bit tiring BUT an intrepid reader/blogger must blog on... for your amusement, of course.

See, even suffering from visual vertigo, I'm thinking of your amusement. I'm a saint, I tell you, a saint!!

So on with the tale...

Eye surgery (express shunt for glaucoma) was a breeze and rather fascinating-- kind of like starring in my own episode of a medical drama. And I was a model patient this time-- no arguing that my eye wasn't open during the procedure and no dancing legs. Actually, there was no music playing this time. Is it possible that the staff remembered my antics?

Ah, the intrepid reader! This was a staged shot for entertainment purposes only but, of course,  I became engrossed in an interesting article.. and recipes... and...

The bandage was removed one day post-op. Are you ready to see the creepy eye?  Not quite? Okay, later then. 

For now, I will tell you that the shunt implant surgery was a bit too successful. The eye pressure is now too low-- which exacerbates the normal post-op blurry vision. If the pressure doesn't increase to a non-blurry level, another surgery to add a suture to tighten up the shunt will be required.  WAAAH!! 

Ready for the creepy eye? 

Not yet? O-kaay... eyes closed but y'all sure are squeamish. 

Anyhoo, remember my dread of the post-op instructions? Now you will see why...

• Steroid eyedrop every two hours while awake
• Antibiotic eyedrop every four hours while awake
• Ointment in eye at bedtime
• Plastic shield taped over eye for sleeping (two weeks)
• No water in eye for two weeks
• No lifting more than eight pounds for six weeks
• No bending below waist for six weeks

Right now my whole life revolves around this dang ol' creepy eye. Bye-bye fun summer.

But, looking on the sunny side,  I'm going to have some killer legs from all the squatting!

Ready to see you know what? Eyes opening now...

Wait? What do you mean wait? I can only drag this tale out so long, you know. Plus, I'm blogging with one tired eye!  Give a girl a break!

Okay, one last reprieve but that is it-- you will just have to hide your eyes. And it isn't like some of you don't read/watch paranormal and horror. Geez!

So how about a bit of drama before the horror? After the three hour drive home following bandage removal, I lost vision in my surgery eye. Now that is scary! All I could see was white-- like looking at a film screen. I panicked!! 

We hightailed it three exhausting hours back to the doctor for an emergency after hours exam.  Apparently, the low pressure was keeping the eye too shallow to reform properly. The doctor added dilation drops to my post-op regimen and vision returned. Whew!

Okay, folks, the time is now. What time? Creepy eye time, of course.   You have been warned so click away if you are truly squeamish. Mwahahaha!

 Boo! 

Ooo, I look like a monster.

In case you are wondering, there is not one speck of white on my eyeball. And it gets worse before it gets better-- the main swelling and bruising shows up on the second post-op day. And it all lasts forever! (the droopy eyelid hangs around for six months)


I debated whether to call it zombie eye or creepy eye.

 What do you think? Both fit.

Now I'm as vain as the average girl but am I bothered by the creepy zombie eye? No.

See. I'm happy as a clam. 

Why, you ask?

Because I get to frighten little children, that's why!

Kidding! (but that is kinda fun)

Actually, I am beyond thrilled over hiding the creepy zombie eye behind these absolutely...

fabulous post-op sunglasses!

Too stylin' for words.

I should start a fashion trend...

 

(Looking forward to getting back into the swing of the blogosphere-- I've sure missed reading and commenting on all of your blogs)

(and in case you are wondering why in the world I'm going on about my ailment and sharing the grossness-- Well, my experience, even told in a non-technical silly way, may be helpful to others in the same boat.  Plus, I'm planning future glaucoma awareness posts. Vision is precious, book peeps!)

In Which An Intrepid Reader Receives Aggravating News

Can you read anytime anyplace?

Zoning out with a book, regardless of my surroundings, has never been a problem for me. 

Noise or commotion? Totally tuned out. 

 If there is enough light, I read.  Even if there isn't enough light, I read. Tilting a  book every which way to catch the last rays of sun at dusk while riding in a car-- I'm a pro, baby! 

Reading is just what I do. Family and friends know that is what I do. So when my hub, Jim,  teased me in the waiting room of my glaucoma specialist (Yep, I'm a freak of nature youngish person with glaucoma)  about being an 'Intrepid Reader', I was clueless.  And annoyed-- you know how it is to be jarred out of a book.

Really, what's so intrepid about reading in a waiting room? Everyone does that. So yeah, I was doubly annoyed for being inanely interrupted.  Before I could get too cross, he said:  Your eyes are dilated.

Ah, then I got it. Reading with blurry vision from dilated eyes.

 Folks, that isn't just intrepid that is hardcore! 

Of course, I had Jim take a picture of me reading intrepidly.  Then the silliness triggered an impromptu photo shoot. 


My book: Alice Walker's Temple of my Familiar.  Very very good and a sequel to The Color Purple. Have you read it? 

 It was an all around good ol' time, for a doctor visit that is, then came some aggravating news that will wreak havoc with the rest of my summer fun.

Surgery on my left eye.  Waah!

I had surgery to place a teeny tiny shunt in my right eye two years ago with good results so I'm not too worried about the surgery-- it isn't even very painful afterwards just uncomfortable-- but the post op care is a very big pain. It goes on for months with sleeping eye patches, ointment and step down prednisone eyedrops but the thing that impacts summer is no lifting or bending for six weeks-- and no swimming, waterparks, rollercoasters ect. 

 I repeat: Waah!


My surgery is today and I've spent the last three weeks in a frenzy of activity. Believe me, attempting to fit a whole summer's worth of gardening, home projects and fun into three weeks is exhausting and I've barely made a dent!

But I refuse to worry about all the summer cleaning and home improvement that won't get done.  

Like DeLynne said: Vision is a gift one only gets once.  

So everything else is secondary to maintaining vision.  

Besides, helping out is what minions family is for, right?